Finding Myself, My Purpose, and My Destiny

The past month, month and a half, I have been isolating myself not only from friends but from family as well. I apologize for that but here is the reason why I have been a ghost lately. During this time of isolation, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Here I am nearly 30 and what have I accomplished in life? I graduated high school, I am an Eagle Scout, and I have only one semester of college under my belt, and I work at a video store. I don't mind the video store, I have worked there nearly 5 years however I do not want to be there the rest of my life. As I have been contemplating these things, I have also been looking at other job options but don't see them being fruitful. A friend wants me to apply as a driver for an armored car service, and another friend wants me as a pistol instructor. As much as I would like to teach people how to shoot I don't see that happening for reasons I will not mention on here. I have always wanted to just pack a bag of clothes in a duffel bag and hit the road and see where it would take me. However, what would that do to help me progress in life and become a contributing member of society? It simply wouldn't. Hitting the road would not earn money for college nor would it help me get a better job. As I left work today I was feeling kind of down because when it comes down to it, I have nothing to offer the world. I was in deep thought in maybe an almost mental prayer like state. I was asking for guidance and direction in my life, I was asking what my purpose in life was.

When I looked at the road there were two Army recruiters walking towards me. Usually I hate confronting military recruiters but, I had this overwhelming feeling like I needed to talk to them. They walked up to me and introduced themselves and we started conversing. At one point in the conversation they asked if I was going to college. I told them no. They asked if I would like to attend college. I said "of course who wouldn't?" Then they said that college students who decide to enlist in the Army to have the government pay for college can have an option of not being deployed during their 4 years of school as long as they are continuously attending college. On top of that they offered 1,350 a month so that I would not have to work and can just focus on my schooling and to pay tuition. On top of that, there is the usual $20,000 enlistment bonus cash. I know I don't get it all up front. There is a 4 year commitment to the military and as an soldier in the Army reserves, I would only be required to go to training one weekend out of every month.

Upon hearing all this I actually felt really good and it was not because the recruiters were doing their recruiting script. I have always felt that I own a debt to my country and I have always in some way wanted to serve my country. I called up my Dad and he gave me his full support if I decide to enlist. We talked about the seriousness of the military. My father tried to enlist so he could fight in Vietnam but could not due to a very minor medical condition with his eyes. I told him that I know the risks and sacrifices that are involved and that I was not afraid of those risk and sacrifices. I feel like this is where I belong, this is what I am supposed to do in life. I served God for two years straight and though my debt to God will never be fully paid, I feel that it is now time for me to serve my country and repay it for all the blessing and success I have had so far.

Tomorrow I am meeting with recruiters in Provo. However due to seriousness of the commitment that is involved in being apart of the military, I am not going to sign any contracts, until I have had more time to think about this and make sure that this is my path and destiny in life. I plan on spending at least one month of thought before making any final decisions. I want to be sure that this is what I really want to do and not have any regrets later.

I will update this blog after the meeting with the recruiters tomorrow.