Stop Annoying Me pt. 5 ( All Things Must Come To An End)

Yes folks it is true this is the last post of the "Stop Annoying Me" saga. As much as Annoying Guy annoyed me, I have some good classic stories that I'll be telling and retelling for years to come.

On Wednesday, Annoying Guy announced that he was done and was packing up and going home. Trust me none of us ( my brother, the other sales rep, and I) in the least bit, made any attempt to change his mind. I mean how could anyone get mad at for not trying after everything that he put us through. If you have not read about Annoying Guy I highly recommend that you start with "Stop Annoying Me part 1" and work your way up to this one. Trust me by the time you get to this one you will have a deep and greater understanding of all the pain, hardships, and misery that Annoying Guy has put us through since May 1st.

One story that I don't believe I have told yet is the story of the salt, pepper, and creole seasoning. For some odd reason Annoying Guy did not think that one full salt and pepper shakers and a bottle of creole seasoning would not last more than a month between five guys so he kept hiding his salt & pepper shakers and creole seasoning. Every morning he would have a new hiding spot for them and every morning I would find them and me and the rest of the guys would use some to make our breakfast and then we would leave them out for him to see that we had found them. Every other day he would complain about how he is the only one who gets to use the salt and pepper shakers and the creole seasoning because he bought it and because it "would not last more than a month between five guys." "You guys that salt & pepper shaker and bottle of creole seasoning cost me eight dollars!" We all told him there was no way in hell that it cost that much and that at most he paid around three dollars for all three the creole costing about two dollars at most.

Finally after finding it stuffed in a bag that was stuffed in another bag that was stuffed in another bag that was stuffed...(you get the picture) on top of the fridge behind some large cans of protein shake powder, Joe, James, and I decided that was it. We hide all three in an empty bowties pasta box and there they stayed till I remembered them today. A few days after hiding them, Annoying Guy and I were at the grocery store and he said, "Man I have no clue what happened to my salt, pepper, and seasoning now I have to spend another eight dollars on all that stuff." I said, "Hey I saw how much it all cost so quit saying it cost eight dollars, you paid 3 dollars max." He was pretty quiet after that and so that everyone would quit complaining, mainly Annoying Guy, I bought salt and pepper for everyone to use at the house.

Another story I heard was the day after Annoying Guy left. He and one of the other sales reps were out knocking doors and Annoying Guy says, "Man being at home with Xavier was kinda weird, he would be happy one moment and then really pissed off the next." Hmmm maybe it's because every minute of every single day for the past 3 months you have made my life a nightmare with all your stupid comments, questions, and your racial slurs towards my people and other races. You are so dense you did not even know you were making racial comments. Then there was your non stop random noises and annoying voices, and how you would always blow the smallest things out of porportion and how you always wanted everyone to feel sorry for you. Yeah I think that pretty much sums up why I hated when it was just you hanging around the house instead of going out and being to work on time like everyone else.

Anyway here is a little musical number from You Tube that perfectly describes how I am feeling about the departure of Annoying Guy.


I have attached the lyrics to the song as well in case you feel as liberated from Annoying Guy as I do.

Can You Feel A Brand New Day Lyrics
by
Diana Ross

Everybody look around
'Cause there's a reason to rejoice you see
Everybody come out
And let's commence to singing joyfully
Everybody look up
And feel the hope that we've been waiting for

Everybody's glad
Because our silent fear and dread is gone
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about
You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?

Everybody be glad
Because the sun is shining just for us
Everybody wake up
Into the morning into happiness

Hello world
It's like a different way of living now
And thank you world
We always knew that we'd be free somehow
In harmony
And show the world that we've got liberty

It's such a change
For us to live so independently
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about
You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?

Everybody be glad
Because the sun is shining just for us
Everybody wake up
Into the morning into happiness
Hello world
It's like a different way of living now
And thank you world
We always knew that we'd be free somehow
In harmony
And show the world that we've got liberty

It's such a change
For us to live so independently
Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully
Just look about
You owe it to yourself to check it out
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?
Can't you feel a brand new day?

To answer the question that the song poses, "Yes I can feel a brand new day!"

Stop Annoying Me!!! pt. 4 (The Breaking Point)

Well it has been just over a month since I have posted anything and I figure Annoying Guy has done a lot of annoying things the past few weeks. However last night July 4th, 2009 was the night that our patience with Annoying Guy reached its pinnacle/ breaking point. Before I go into that allow me to catch up on Annoying Guys shenanigans.

A few weeks a go I had to run an errand at the post office. The sales reps had just left for the area that they were going to be knocking in that day and the other tech that we hired who is actually pretty cool followed them so that when a sale came through he would be in the area to install the alarm system. Annoying Guy is, if you don't remember also a tech who is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, or the brightest crayon in the box whichever analogy you want to use makes no difference to me. Anyway, Annoying Guy has been in the habit of getting up late and being late to meeting, and late to installations. His excuse is he does not have enough minutes on his cell phone plan to take calls from work or to call tech support when he has an installation question. Also he does not like to drive out to the area where our sales reps are working if there are no jobs because he thinks its a waste of gas. Instead he hangs out at the office in gym shorts and no shirt and plays an Xbox boxing game building up his characters strength for hours on end or until I send him out on an installation.

One day, after the 2nd tech plays the boxing game with Annoying Guy and the 2nd Tech TKOs Annoying Guy 16 seconds into the first round twice in a row, Annoying Guy throws his controller onto the floor and storms out of the room to his bedroom and slams the door. The 2nd tech looks at me and I asked him if he has played that game before and he says, "No it's my first time playing." We both started laughing. The 2nd tech then leaves for the area that the sales reps are knocking in. A few hours later Annoying Guy comes out of his room and gets ready and drives out to the area to finally met up with the other tech. After he leaves I get a phone call from one of the reps and he tells me send Annoying Guy to the job so I call Annoying Guy and he does not answer so I call up the 2nd tech and send him to the job instead. Ten minutes later Annoying Guy returns my phone call and I say, "In this line of work it is extremely important that you answer every phone call from me when I call, you lost out on an installation job because you don't want to use minutes on work related calls. He then starts screaming at the top of his lungs at me while he is driving and I tell him to calm down and he keeps shouting so I tell him not to worry about it because the other tech is at the job site already which causes Annoying Guy to shout even louder and swear and call me names so I hang up on him and then make my brother who is the boss, aware of the situation at hand. The boss puts Annoying Guy in his place but a week later he was at it again.

I had to run an errand to the post office and Annoying Guy was the only person around with a car because everyone else had left for the days assigned area. So we go to the post office and on the way back Annoying Guy decides that he wants to go to Blockbuster and rent a movie. I told him that I was not paying for any of his rentals. We go in and he picks out "Snatch" and 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button",(Annoying Guy has a new man crush about once a month, Mays man crush was Robert Downy Jr.) we get to the register and Annoying Guy places his rentals on the counter and walks away. I ask him if he's paying for his movies and he walks out of the store so I ended up paying for them which put me in a bad mood. The minute we get home he throws one of the movies in the DVD player and starts to watch it. As I am trying to work and take phone calls Annoying Guy is commenting aloud on the film as Brad Pitts character grows younger and younger, "Wow how do they do that, that's an amazing make up job." Then when the character changes to a child actor, Annoying Guy still thinks it's Brad Pitt, "Oh My Gosh, that's amazing, I cannot believe that is Brad Pitt!" I respond, "Are you for real?" "That's a child actor, not Brad Pitt!" Then he responds, "Hey do you think people are actually born like that?" It's such a stupid question that I just ignore him.

One week later he is at it again this time it is at a job in the clients home. Annoying Guy just does not get installation despite all the training and installations that my brother has helped him out on. He is at a clients house installing a security system by himself because after 2 months of having someone help him on every install, no one wanted to help him because he should know the job by now. He texts me with unit number so I can register the system online and then I don't hear from him for a couple of hours. I am dialing his number to get an update when I get a text message from him for a new unit number to register at the same address. This causes me to think, "Oh no what has he done now. I try calling him but he refuses to answer my calls and text messages. A couple of hours later, he comes home and tells me this story which from the moment he opened his mouth I knew he was lying because one of the reps had called me and told me exactly what happened.

Annoying Guy starts off, "Man, did you hear what the 2nd Tech did today? I act like I don't know anything and he says that the 2nd tech mixed up the wiring on the ac unit of the panel and caught the system on fire." In reality, it was Annoying Guy who started a fire in the clients home, and he blew the fuse on the clients air conditioner as well. In his mind, Annoying Guy is the best tech and the hardest working tech we have who never makes mistakes, he tried telling the other reps that it was the 2nd tech who started the fire. I called the 2nd tech and asked him if he had helped Annoying Guy with any installs today and he said, " No all I did was swing by the house he was at to pick up a ladder and then I left." A few nights later Annoying Guy and a couple of the sales reps were drinking and Annoying Guy got so drunk he started to blame the 2nd tech for burning the security panel again and everyone else told him to stop lying and just accept that we all knew it was him(Annoying Guy) who had caused the fire.

Independence Day

On Thursday we drove down to my mother's home to work in the surrounding cities, Friday was a regular work day and Saturday the 4th, was only a half day. I was not feeling well so I stayed in bed most of Saturday but kept my brother's laptop and my cell phones next to me in case work calls came in. Many calls came in which was cool. I felt dehydrated and felt that was the reason I was feeling dizzy and exhausted so I drank a gallon of water. Around 3pm the sales reps returned and they went to South Padre Island. I was still not feeling well so I waited at my mother's house and did some chores for her around the house and when 2nd tech who was is now Tech 1 because after the fire incident Annoying Guy was told he could either pack his bags and go home because he was fired or he could give sales a shot. We were hoping he would pack up and go but he chose sales instead. So 3pm the sales reps including Annoying Guy head to the Island and I wait at my mother's house till Tech 1 arrives and he and I head to the island. We don't get there till around 8 pm and it is dusk. We pull up to the camp site and Annoying Guy in an attempt to be funny jumps in front of our car. Luckily we were going slow enough and did not hit him. It should be noted that this will not be the only time Annoying Guy is nearly hit by a car this night.

The day before the sales reps stopped at a fire work stand and bought 50 mortar fireworks and two launch tubes the name on the package was "Goliath." I'll get into Goliath in a bit. Anyway we start cooking and we are throwing black cat fireworks and M-80s into the sand. My brother throws one and I happen to turn right into it so it bounces of my shoulder and lands about a foot in front of Tech 1. It a small explosion and between the M-80 and Annoying Guy was Tech 1. Annoying Guy in a rather late reaction starts shouting at my brother, "Don't do that sparks flew into my eye!" We all knew he was lying so we called him out on it but he held his ground and he was also a little drunk. So he walks off, grabs another can of beer and runs to the surf and starts karate kicking and punching the waves and then starts running up and down the surf before stopping and throwing up a little. Then he comes back and and starts acting like his eye is hurt and we call him out again and he goes back to doing Karate Kid stuff in the surf. At this point we are all pretty frustrated with him because he is ruining the night for everyone else. So we decided that tonight is the night we are going to repay him for making the last two months a living hell for everyone in the office and the customers he annoyed. He comes back from the surf and runs about 20 yards from the camp site and starts pissing so me and about 5 other guys all light M-80s and throw them in his direction. They explode all around him and he keeps peeing so we throw some more in his general direction. He comes back, "Ha ha you guys very funny." and we are all laughing. Then runs back to the surf and does more Karate Kid stuff. We start to cook up some brauts and burgers and he comes back and starts acting like his eye still hurts and we tell him to shut up and that we know he is faking. He then climbs into my brothers jeep covered in sand and tries to change the music. My brother yanks him out of the jeep and get mad at him for covering his drivers seat in sand. By this point Annoying Guy is very drunk. After we eat we grab "Goliath" and 50 yard north of the campsite and set the launch tubes up. Annoying Guy eventually catches up and this is where he almost gets beat up. He starts getting mad about the "sparks flying into his eyes" earlier and again, one of the guys tells him to shut up. Annoying Guy then starts shouting even louder and then attempts to throw sand in the faces of my brother,one of sales reps, and I and then he starts shouting at us. My brother had his doberman up on the hill with us on a leash and me and the the brother of the sales rep take sides with our brothers so now its 4 guys against one scrawny Brad Pitt wannabe. We all get in his face and the doberman starts barking at Annoying Guy, My brother lets some slack on the leash and commands the dog," Go get him!" and Zeus, starts snarling growling, snapping, barking ferociously at Annoying Guy. Zeus the Doberman does not like Annoying Guy either because Annoying Guy is always picking on him and annoying him as well. By this time the one of the other sales guys and Tech 1 who were setting up the mortar tubes are just watching us and waiting for Annoying Guy to swing at one of us. One of the guys is egging Annoying Guy on, "Come one man, I dare you to swing at me I beg you please take a swing at me. Me and the other 3 guys and Zeus are ready to pounce on Annoying Guy if he does swing. Finally Annoying Guy realizes he is heavily out numbered and attempts a truce, we warn him to never throw sand at us again and to quit lying, complaining, bitching, and over reacting on every little thing like he has been all Summer. He remains quiet and we leave him alone and start to launch mortars into the air watch the different color pattens they explode into. The mortars launching was a pretty cool site and loud too and, when the mortars would launch large fireballs would shoot out of the launch tubes. One of the guys grabs three mortars, puts one in each of the two launch tubes, and places the third next to him. He ties the fuses of the two in the launch tubes together and lights it. What we did not expect was the sparks emitted from the fuses to be large and hot enough to light the third mortar that was laying near by. Nor did we expect the sparks to land on the fuse of third mortar which is exactly what happened. We did not notice till the co worker who was lighting them started shouting, "Oh crap!! Dive! Dive! Dive!" followed by him diving off the dune head first. We followed suit and one guy grabbed Tech 1 who was by the launch tubes and threw him down the sand dune. A few seconds later the first two launched out of the tube and exploded in the sky and the third exploded on top of dune sending a cloud of sand in the air. We all started laughing except for Annoying Guy who was not quite fast enough and was now covered in sand and mad again. He started getting in our faces. "That was not funny!" the rest of us have fallen to the ground laughing and one of the guys started acting like Annoying Guy, "Ahhh I got sparks in my eyes!" which made us laugh even harder. We then told Annoying Guy, "Dude you had plenty of time to dive so don't start up again." He gets pissed and stumbles down the hill. We are all annoyed with him now and decide to return the favor. As he stumbles down the sand dune we reposition the launch tubes around and close to Annoying Guys position. I call out to him, " Hey you better start running you got about 10 seconds!" He then notices the flickering light from the lit fuses in the launch tubes and says, "Oh crap!" and starts running. "Fire in the hole!" shouts one of the guys and there are two loud swooshes followed by fireballs as the mortars launch and fly towards Annoying Guy. We did not want to hit him so when we repositioned them we had the tubes aligned to where it would miss him by 20 yards or so which is what they did. They both land about 20 yards from Annoying Guy and explode sending multi-colored flames and sparks in every direction. "Ha ha you missed" shouts Annoying Guy and we reload the tubes and send two more his way. To our surprise, he starts running to where the mortars are going to land. We call out, "Hey moron, duck" to which he dives and the mortars explode about 15 yards from him. When he is out of range we start shooting them skyward again. Then he comes back into rage about 5 minutes later and we start up again, "Hey we are missing you come about 20 yards left one guy yells. We launch mortars at him for another 20 minutes and then we got tired of that and decided to hold the launch tubes in our hand and light mortars. I was surprised at the kick, it was like firing both barrels of a double barrel 12 gauge shotgun at the same time. As Annoying Guy makes his way back up the dune, Zeus starts barking and growling at Annoying Guy and we start laughing. Tech 1 makes his way down the dune and Annoying Guy thinks that it is Zeus running down the dune and calls out to Tech 1 "Zeus come back, come on boy!"

Finally when we are out of mortars, we head back to camp and just chill. Annoying Guy and some of the other guys are drinking and then we hear Annoying Guy tell one of the guys, "I want you to punch me in the stomach as hard as you can." The guy he asked to punch him is 6'4 and has a good strong frame and build. The guy is asks "Are you serious?" to which Annoying Guy replies "Yes!" So the 6'4 guy stands up and gets ready to sock Annoying Guy but some of us tell him to wait so we can get our cameras out and ready. The guys start recording and the 6'4 guy asks Annoying Guy if he is ready and he replies that he is. It happened fast I saw his fist fly towards Annoying Guys stomach and then heard the impact, it was loud and Annoying Guy doubled over and looked like he was about to throw up. Then after about a minute he slowly straightens up and looks like he wants to pass out. Then he holds out a hand to the guy who punched him and shakes his hand. 10 minutes later we are all chilling again and Annoying Guy who is extremely drunk runs back out to the shore to do more Karate Kid moves in surf and in the process runs right in front of a giant 4x4 diesel truck which nearly runs him over. I shouted to him, "Hey look out dumb-ass!" but he kept running with a beer in one hand and still has no clue that he was literally inches from death. Shortly after that me and one of the other guys and his girl jumped into a rental car that we had rented and drove back up to Austin. We pulled in at around 9am and drove about 400 miles on one 12 gallon tank of gas. There is about and eighth of a tank left.

This story however is not over yet. After we left my brother went back to the came site for a little bit and then drove back to my mothers house with Tech 1. According to the guy who punched Annoying Guy earlier, the following took place:

3:30 rolls around and Annoying Guy is still running up and down the beach doing Karate Kid punches and kicks into the incoming waves and then running back up to camp and back to the beach. He for some reason thinks that he has lost his car keys and believes that he buried them in the sand under his car so, he crawls under his car and starts digging holes trying to find his keys shouting, "Guys my keys, I buried my keys under my car!" He then finally realizes the tide is higher the water is washing up around the back of his car and he starts freaking out again. He starts yelling in his very drunken state, "Hey guys,guys,guys!" "The ocean, the ocean, the ocean you guy!" "Guys! Guys! Guys! The ocean is going to wash my car away!" "You guys!" Mind you that he is 10 feet away from where everyone left in our camp is sleeping. Then Annoying Guy starts yelling out my brothers name, "Shaaaaaad, Shaaaaaaaaad, Shaaaaaad! The ocean is going to wash my car away." The guy who punched him earlier says, "Hey shut up we are trying to sleep, Shad left!" After hearing that Annoying Guy freaks out even more and starts crying, "Guys, guys, what are we going to do the ocean is going to wash my car away, Shad left without us, and nobody cares." "Guys the ocean!" Then he runs back to the shoreline yelling, "You guys, the ocean!" Finally about after and hour and half of him running around shouting and standing next the guys who were trying to sleep and shouting, he kneels down with his forehead touching the sand and keeps yelling, shouting, and crying about how the ocean is going to wash his car away and how no one cares and what are they going to do because "Shad left without them." Finally the guy who punched him earlier get up from where he is sleeping, grabs Annoying Guy, pulls him up close and says, "Shut the f^@* up we are trying to sleep!" Annoying Guy stands up and pushing him away and the guy thinks that Annoying Guy is going to puch him so he cocks his right arm back and punches Annoying Guy in the face dropping him but not knocking him out cold. Annoying Guy was quiet after that.

The next morning the guys were woken up by some people that were camping a few cars down. They said, "Hey guys you better go wake up your friend he blends in really well with the sand he almost got run over by a diesel truck. He is right over there. Annoying Guy is found face down in the sand covered in sand as well and is passed out. They wake him up, "Hey! Hey man what are you doing sleeping over here?" Annoying Guy replies, "I was afraid that I was going to get washed away by the ocean last night so I slept up here so that I would not get swept out to sea and drown." The guy who punched him twice the night before says, "Well you almost got run over by a few trucks come man come back to camp." Annoying gets up and walks back to camp with the guys, takes off his sand covered tee shirt and falls back asleep face up with one of his hands resting on his chest his fingers spread. When he woke up a few hours later he has a lobster red sunburn on his face arms, and chest. However one part of his chest is unscathed by the sun and his chest is now all red expect for the outline of his arm and hand on his chest.

You know there are times when I often think to myself, "Should I feel bad that this stuff happens to Annoying Guy?" I find that I almost do feel some ounce of sorrow but then I remember, "It's Annoying Guy, no matter how much we try and help him, he does not listen nor does he care." So I guess I am ok to say that I don't feel any sorrow for him. There are some people who are just to stubborn to accept the fact that they need to grow up, act their age, learn how to face and deal with reality. They instead have this mentality that they are perfect and that that no matter how many electrical fires they cause, or how many times they get punched, nearly run over or nearly blown up in one night, they are right and the rest of us are wrong. I guess all we can say to that is "Well we tried and they just would not listen." I will give him this though, I have to thank him for making this year's Independence Day one that I will never ever forget thanks to his drunken state.

Don't worry the "Stop Annoying Me" segment is far from over yet. I shall return soon with another tale of Annoying Guy.

Stop Annoying Me!!! pt. 3 (The Pillow Incident)

The Pillow Incident

The epic continues. Except this time it does involve chicken wings or stupid comments only, stupidity. So a short while after the whole chicken wing incident happened, one of the sales reps and I hop into my brothers 1996 Isuzu pickup truck and begin the drive from Tyler to Austin, TX. The drive lasted about 4 hours because we stopped for about 20 minutes to eat at Jack In The Box. The main discussion at our table was the recent “Fish sticks” episode of South Park in which they make fun of Kanye West’s ego and Carlos Mencias habit of stealing jokes from other comedians. If you are a South Park fan and have not yet seen that episode make sure to visit www.southparkstudios.com you can watch every episode for free on that site.

As we were talking Annoying Guy states, “Yeah, Carlos Mencia is not really that funny.” The other two guys and I stopped him and said, “Yeah, he actually is pretty funny and on his first two stand up dvds he uses only his material and one joke that he stole from Bill Cosby.” Then I mentioned that I had gone to see Carlos Mencia in 2006 when he came to Salt Lake City for a tour stop. I also mentioned that in the live stand up comedy routine, Carlos used only his comedy jokes and no one else’s.” Shortly after we got back on the road. Once we arrived in Austin we looked for the cheapest hotel in the city, which according to our GPS and the night clerk at a Motel 6 on Rundberg Lane in Austin was the cheapest. That motel also ended up being deep in the Austin ghetto. When we arrived there were a lot of Mexican day laborers leaning over the second story railing, that sight brought the opening scene of the movie “Scarface” to mind when Tony Montana and his best friend are waiting for their Green Cards to arrive in “Freedom Town.” Once again we had hookers, pimps, and druggies as neighbors. We drove there and ended up having to pay one hundred dollars extra because they failed to tell us that there was a difference in price between weekdays and weekends. We pulled in on a Saturday night. I rented two rooms and as my luck would have it, I ended up once again sharing a room with Annoying Guy. We got connecting rooms and this is where the story begins.

The rooms I got were both double rooms so there were two queen sized beds in both rooms. Each bed had two pillows. So we get into our room and I set my stuff on my bed, unpack my towel a change of clothes, and shower stuff. At this point I decide to take a shower. If anything good came out of staying at that particular Motel 6, it was the amazing showers. I felt like I was standing under a waterfall as the water came down on me. It was awesome. After my shower, I got dressed, brushed my teeth and then stepped out of the restroom. I reached for a book I am reading and then preceded to climb into bed to read before turning in for the night. That is when I noticed it. When I got into the room I took my pistol and holster off my hip and placed the holstered weapon underneath the left pillow.

That pillow was now gone and my Glock was lying just as I had left it only this time, there was no pillow to conceal it. One of my pet peeves is when someone borrows something without asking like Annoying Guy had just done. When I have to constantly deal with someone like Annoying Guy I find myself questioning his or her logic and motives. What exactly is going through the minds of these kinds of people? Upon discovering that one of my pillows had been stolen from my bed while I was in the shower, I walked into the other room where a couple of the sales reps were staying. They were awake watching TV and just as I suspected, there was annoying guy lying on one of their beds (which already had two pillows) with my stolen pillow. I was annoyed at what Annoying Guy had done and then saw that the two sales reps and Annoying Guy were watching Family Guy so I joined in knowing that Family Guy could temporarily stop my current state of feeling towards Annoying Guy. Just when I was no longer annoyed, Annoying Guy starts laughing at parts of the show that are not funny and starts making stupid comments and trying to imitate the voice of Cleveland who, is one of the characters on the TV show. His impression just like his jokes and stupid comments was horrible and not funny at all. His laugh is also extremely loud and he has no sense of consideration for others around him or in the next room. I finally got annoyed with all this and went back to mine and Annoying Guys room took one of pillows of Annoying Guys bed and went to sleep. By this point with his repetition of stupid things from his drum beat door knocks to food stealing I knew that this would not be the last time he would steal my pillow while at Motel 6.
The next day was Sunday, before leaving for church I renewed the rooms for another 2 days and then hoped in my brothers jeep and we went to church. As I was walking out of the hotel room Annoying Guy was just waking up, he asked if I was going to church and I told him that I was and that I had told him the previous night that the meetings started at 2:30pm he woke up at 2:15pm and expected us to wait for him to shower and get dressed. There was no way we were going to do that. When Annoying Guy is getting ready for the day, he takes a shower that lasts just over forty-five minutes, then spends another hour putting wax in his hair and styling it. He also is currently attempting to sport a goatee but this is no ordinary goatee. This is the goatee that Robert Downey Jr. sported in “Iron Man”. We left him directions hoping he was smart enough to follow them.

My brother and I arrived just before the sacrament was blessed and passed. I had place my phone on silent knowing that Annoying Guy would text me for directions and call during that portion of Sacrament Meeting and I was right. He calls and when I don’t pick up, he sends a text message asking which way to turn coming out of the hotel. Once again I was not surprised by his lack of common sense. The Motel 6 that we stayed at had an entrance that was on a frontage road right next to Interstate 35 North so if he was pulling out there was only one direction to turn and that was right. If he had turned left, he would have driven into on coming traffic that was exiting the interstate. I text him the directions and about 20 minutes later he comes strolling into the chapel. The rest of the worship service and meetings were fine when we got out we met up with the sales reps and because there were no refrigerators in the hotel room, we went out and got a bit to eat. Some people that we had met at church had invited us over for game night and after trying to find the location and failing we decided to hit up the movie theater and watched Star Trek which was better than I thought it was going to be but, then again it was directed by J.J. Abrams who is a film genius.

After the film we returned to the hotel and I took a shower and got ready for bed. Once again Annoying Guy had stolen one of my pillows, instead of dealing with Annoying Guy I took one of his pillows and went to bed. The next day my brother and I found a house and went and signed a one-year lease with the sales reps but we were not able to move in until Tuesday. Finally Tuesday arrives and our three-week stay in hotels is over. However Annoying Guy does not wake up till ten minutes till checkout time which was at 12 noon. When he climbs out of bed, he heads to the shower and I tell him he now has only 10 minutes to shower, dress, pack up, and move out of the hotel room. Upon moving into the hotel room we told him to unpack only what he needed meaning, clothes and toiletries. He did not listen and once again it took him several hours to pack and move his stuff out while it took everyone else 10 minutes to do so. He finally gets his stuff moved out and I tell the front desk that we are moved out. I was just in time, they too were out of patience with Annoying Guy and were about to charge my credit card for another day and nights stay. When I get done at the front desk I head back to my brothers room and I notice that the door to the room that Annoying Guy and I had shared was still open. I asked Annoying Guy if all his stuff was moved out and he said yes. Then I asked why he had left the room door ajar. He ignored the question and walked off. I then started up the stairs to close the door and said, loud enough for him to hear me, “God, some people are just too damn stupid and retarded.” I then went and closed the hotel room door.

Tuesday night we met up with the landlord and we signed the lease agreement and then went to Wal-Mart to get supplies and groceries. We were all excited, finally a house! After Wal-Mart, we stopped at Blockbuster and picked up a couple of movies, went back to the house and called it a night. Wednesday morning, took Annoying Guys lack of common sense to a whole new level. He wakes up and the two sales reps have gone golfing, my brother and I are doing office work and trying to get the utilities for the house switched over which proved to be frustrating. Anyway, in the house there are 2 and half restrooms. Two of the restrooms have showers and one does not. Also, one of the showers does not have a shower curtain and the other does. Annoying Guy knows this and even after me telling him that the shower he is planning on using has no curtain he still showers in that shower. When he gets out he is dressed and the backside of his shorts are drenched. I almost bust out laughing because I knew that since there was no curtain to block the water from leaving the tub, the water had sprayed on his clothes. He was not aware of the condition of his shorts so I told him. His response was, “Crap, no way, how did that happen?” At that point I decided I no longer wanted anything to do with that situation so I went up to my room, closed the door, and took a nap. Trust me this is not the last of Annoying Guys shenanigans. This however, is the end of this blog post.

Stop Annoying Me!!! pt. 2(The Chicken Wing Incident)

Oh yes just when you thought it could not get any worse, it actually does. This incident took place on Friday May 15,2009 and there are about 3 people who can testify as witnesses to what happened to me and my precious and delicious Lemon Pepper Chicken Wings from Wing-Stop. For those of you who have never heard of Wing-Stop it is pretty much like Wingers or Pluckers except low key and their chicken wings are so much better than the above mentioned restaurants. Before I begin this epic tale I will start with a preview or prelude just to give some back ground on the up coming story that follows this one. Don't worry they are connected. If you feel inclined please go to the concession stand buy some popcorn and a soft drink, don't worry I'll give you all a chance to get refills before I start "The Chicken Wing Incident"

Thursday night was just a normal day for us in Tyler, Tx we were still in the ratty hotel and by this time all of the housekeeping staff and front desk employees had gotten to know us and loved Zeus, my brothers seven month old Doberman. I sat in the office doing paper work and taking phone calls from our sales reps who were out doing door to door sales. At about 3pm I get hungry but I did not feel like going to grab a bite to eat alone so, rather than doing that I decided to call up Annoying Guy to see if he would like to go to Dairy Queen with me for lunch. He was busy at the moment playing video games so I said,"When you get to a save point in the game come to the office/my brother's hotel room and we'll go to Dairy Queen." He says ok so I head back to the office and continue doing paperwork and dog sitting Zeus. Four o' clock rolls by followed by six, seven, and eight. Finally at nine pm my phone rings and I expect it to be Annoying Guy wanting to finally go to Dairy Queen. To my surprise, it is my brother asking me and Annoying Guy to join him and the rest of the sales guys at Cici's Pizza.

Upon arriving there, Annoying Guy states that he is not hungry and therefore will not be eating and has a seat at the table where the rest of us were. I order a buffet and order a customized pizza for me. While that is being made and cooking, we all converse and kinda watch the Lakers vs. Rockets game, conversing, and having a good time. One thing about Annoying Guy is that he says the weirdest things. Our first night in Tyler he arrived at the hotel around 3am and ended up sleeping in his car because we apparently did hot hear him knocking on the door. He claims he knocked for 20 minutes before heading back to his car. However those of us who were in the hotel room are all light sleepers and would have been woken up had he actually been pounding on the door like he claims he was. Anyway back to the story. He always says weird things. For example he got bit by a mosquito. When he showed us the bite mark he said, "I think I got bit by a brown recluse spider, look!" We all looked and of course it is just a mosquito bite which we told him it was but he was very adamant about it being a spider bite. We eventually had to show him what a brown recluse spider bite looks like before he would drop the subject. Anyway back to the pizza joint. The guys were talking about lifting weights and how much they could bench and Annoying Guy decides to join the conversation. "Man, I used to be able to squat 500 pounds easily and leg press almost 1000 pounds." We just ignored him like we usually do when he says dumb things. It should be noted that this guy is skinny as a tooth pick.

As the basketball game progressed and as we ate, my customized pizza that I was waiting for finally arrives. I eat my pizza and share with other guys who had also paid. Suddenly, Annoying Guy who stated that he was not hungry and did not pay to eat, grabs a piece of my pizza and starts eating. We all look at him thinking, "You did not pay therefore should not be eating." and of course, he remains clueless. Finally there is one piece of my customize pizza left and before I have a chance to eat it, Annoying Guy picks it up and eats it. At that point I was ready to snap, not only did he not pay to eat, but he assumed that I would let him have my last piece of pizza. I was upset however when we got back to the hotel, my brother and I took Zeus, our Doberman out to play and that calmed me down. As I laid in bed that night I was not was no longer upset at Annoying Guy for stealing my pizza as I thought it was only a one time deal and it would not happen again...boy was I wrong.

Now for the main event. Thursday morning we decided that we were not having as much success with the company in Tyler so we packed up all our bags which took everyone about ten minutes to do except for annoying guy who brought everything he owned with him except the kitchen sink. He unloaded everything from his car into the hotel room which was very annoying and made moving around in the room difficult and frustrating. Needless to say it took him several hours to pack up almost costing the company to have to pay for another night for the room because he was still packing way past checkout time.

After packing two of the guys and I decide to go get lunch. We invite others to come with us but they decline. We drove around trying to decide on a place to eat and finally decide on a restaurant called Wing-Stop. We went in and ordered some Cajun flavored and Lemon Pepper flavored chicken wings and were planning on eating at the restaurant. Just then my brother, who is also the boss, calls and wants to have a meeting so we put out wings into to go boxes and drive back to the hotel. We get there and the three of us start to eat. I notice Annoying Guy who had finally finished packing was also there and I noticed him eying our chicken wings and like the night before when we invited people to go eat, Annoying Guy declined stating that he was not hungry. So I notice him eying our chicken wings, mine in particular and I knew that my lunch was endanger so, just like a dog with a piece of meat that it does not want to share I go to a corner of the room where the other 2 guys are eating their wings and join them and I keep a hand close to the wings.

Finally not being able to resist anymore, Annoying Guy asks one of the other guys if he can try one of their wings. Now, to someone like Annoying Guy when they are allowed to try one of something they ask for, they assume that they can how partake of more of whatever it was they asked for. In this case it was chicken wings. I should also note that these were the best chicken wings I have ever had.

As we ate we had a quick meeting where we decided we would relocate to a bigger city. After the meeting we were were all conversing and Annoying Guy was taking wings from the two other guys. I also was doing a pretty good job of keeping annoying guy away from me and my chicken wings and was down to one last wing. That last wing I was excited to eat because it had been at the bottom of the stack of wings and was soaking in lemon pepper flavoring and juice. I got into a conversation with one of the other guys who had gone to get wings with us. It was when I was deep in conversation that Annoying Guy made his move. He swoops in and grabs my last precious chicken wing and eats it. The other guys notice this all went silent. I gave Annoying Guy the death look and he was still totally oblivious to exactly what he had just done. He broke the cardinal rule of eating food that other people paid for which is, you never ever ask for or take the last piece of what ever food other people paid for or made without it being offered to you. I seriously felt angry and frustrated at what he had just done. I wanted to point at Annoying Guy and yell, "He stole my chicken wing!" just like Joker did to Batman when Batman stole his balloons that were filled with poisonous gas except in this case, it was a chicken wing filled with lemon pepper flavor and juice. I was upset I was speechless and I did not know what to do or how to react. The most I could do is look at the idiot and say, "Really?! Seriously?!" to which Annoying Guy had no response and kept eating my last wing.
I finally could no longer be in the same room as Annoying Guy, I grabbed my bags, threw them into the back of the pickup truck that one of the other guys and I would be driving down to our new location and waited for the other guy get in so we could go. He finally got in and off we went. I remained upset at Annoying Guy for the rest of that day and the other guy I was driving with noticed how rude Annoying Guy had been by taking my last chicken wing.

A day after we arrived at our new location, my best friend showed up at our hotel room and we went out to eat. Unfortunately, Annoying Guy was around and he followed us to the place where we went to eat which was once again, Wing-Stop. We get in and I order and pay for both myself and my best friend. Annoying Guy assumed that I was also going to pay for his lunch and was surprised when I did not, in fact he seemed a little upset. I was upset that he had followed us and I was also still upset at his stunt from the day before. To make things worse I am also having to share a hotel room with him. That night I ignored everything he said as most of it was bs and I fell asleep thinking that Annoying Guy could not possibly get anymore annoying...once again I was wrong. "The Pillow Incident" will be posted on here soon so keep an eye out for it.

Stop Annoying Me!!!

This summer is proving to be a test of my patience. No, it's not my job, it is someone at my job. Since I have left Utah one thing I have come to appreciate is the sound of silence or a quiet atmosphere with music playing at a soft tone as I work in my office/hotel room. Never in my life have I known anyone who watches or is addicted to television more than this person. From waking moment to when he goes to bed and when he is not working or eating out somewhere, this kid is watching tv or playing video games. Now now, I know that not to long ago I was doing the same thing but that was because of my job when I was a video store clerk. I am still an avid lover of film but I have gained a greater appreciation for silence and nature as I have been working.

At first it was 4 of us crammed into this two person hotel room and we would alternate who got the beds every night. One guy preferred sleeping on the floor so that was one less night that the rest of us had to wait till we got to sleep on a bed again.

However without fail this guy would watch tv till the wee hours of the morning and it was not just his tv and video game addiction that makes him annoying. He asks and says the dumbest things. A prime example of these two accusations took place on Sunday and Tuesday night. Sunday night we were all chilling at my brothers hotel room playing Texas Hold 'em . One one of the guys in our room decided to call it quits after a few hands, returns to our room, and turns in for the night. A few hours later when we were done with the poker game we are all walking back to my hotel room, the room where myself and 3 other guys are staying in. Before I continue let me just say that this hotel that we are staying in is one, not the Plaza Hotel in fact its more like the Bates motel except the owners are not murdering psychopaths. There are however drug dealers, pimp, prostitutes, and drunken winos living at this hotel as well.

Back to the story, the time was about 2am when we got back to our room. My brother, James, Joe, Felipe, annoying guy, and I arrive at my room and we find out that my key does not work so I ask annoying roommate if he has his key and as I figured because this guy is very forgetful as well, he left it in the room. What he does next is the dumbest thing ever. He pounds on the door as hard as he can and shouts, "Open up, Police!" The rest of us are like, "Dude what the hell are you stupid or something?!" Once again I was not surprised at his response, "What? What did I do?"

Example number two is not as long. We went to CiCi's pizza and were watching the Lakers/Mavericks game we are all watching including annoying guy and he out of nowhere asks, "Oh is this the Lakers/Mavericks game?" I responded, "Really?" "Seriously?" "All of us including you have been watching this game and eating pizza for the last 45 minutes."

As of now the other two guys who were sharing the room with us have gone home. One had a family emergency and will be returning in a few weeks and the other could not stand how the real world is outside the Utah Bubble and quit. For now it is just annoying guy and me.

Tonight the guys including annoying guy and I were watching an episode of South Park online but after several network disconnections I gave up on watching and came back to my hotel room to do some work on some writing on a horror novel I have been working on. I decided to run down to the local 7-11 for some Gatorade. When I got back and was just starting to have ideas flow into my brain, there is the knock of annoying guy which, always is an annoying off beat drum beat on the door. "Damit! Already?" I grumble to myself as I open the door. He then walks in and plops himself in front of the TV, turns it on, and starts watching Jerry Springer. Then he turns to me while I was just starting this blog and says, "Hey do a search on the internet and see if the Jerry Springer Show is fake." I relpy, "No! I told you yesterday that the show was fake remember?" He gives this dumb laugh and says, "Oh yeah you did huh." then returns to the Springer show.

I cannot wait till we move into a house where I can once again lock unwanted visitors out of my office/room and have limited contact with annoying guy.