Stop Annoying Me!!! pt. 3 (The Pillow Incident)

The Pillow Incident

The epic continues. Except this time it does involve chicken wings or stupid comments only, stupidity. So a short while after the whole chicken wing incident happened, one of the sales reps and I hop into my brothers 1996 Isuzu pickup truck and begin the drive from Tyler to Austin, TX. The drive lasted about 4 hours because we stopped for about 20 minutes to eat at Jack In The Box. The main discussion at our table was the recent “Fish sticks” episode of South Park in which they make fun of Kanye West’s ego and Carlos Mencias habit of stealing jokes from other comedians. If you are a South Park fan and have not yet seen that episode make sure to visit www.southparkstudios.com you can watch every episode for free on that site.

As we were talking Annoying Guy states, “Yeah, Carlos Mencia is not really that funny.” The other two guys and I stopped him and said, “Yeah, he actually is pretty funny and on his first two stand up dvds he uses only his material and one joke that he stole from Bill Cosby.” Then I mentioned that I had gone to see Carlos Mencia in 2006 when he came to Salt Lake City for a tour stop. I also mentioned that in the live stand up comedy routine, Carlos used only his comedy jokes and no one else’s.” Shortly after we got back on the road. Once we arrived in Austin we looked for the cheapest hotel in the city, which according to our GPS and the night clerk at a Motel 6 on Rundberg Lane in Austin was the cheapest. That motel also ended up being deep in the Austin ghetto. When we arrived there were a lot of Mexican day laborers leaning over the second story railing, that sight brought the opening scene of the movie “Scarface” to mind when Tony Montana and his best friend are waiting for their Green Cards to arrive in “Freedom Town.” Once again we had hookers, pimps, and druggies as neighbors. We drove there and ended up having to pay one hundred dollars extra because they failed to tell us that there was a difference in price between weekdays and weekends. We pulled in on a Saturday night. I rented two rooms and as my luck would have it, I ended up once again sharing a room with Annoying Guy. We got connecting rooms and this is where the story begins.

The rooms I got were both double rooms so there were two queen sized beds in both rooms. Each bed had two pillows. So we get into our room and I set my stuff on my bed, unpack my towel a change of clothes, and shower stuff. At this point I decide to take a shower. If anything good came out of staying at that particular Motel 6, it was the amazing showers. I felt like I was standing under a waterfall as the water came down on me. It was awesome. After my shower, I got dressed, brushed my teeth and then stepped out of the restroom. I reached for a book I am reading and then preceded to climb into bed to read before turning in for the night. That is when I noticed it. When I got into the room I took my pistol and holster off my hip and placed the holstered weapon underneath the left pillow.

That pillow was now gone and my Glock was lying just as I had left it only this time, there was no pillow to conceal it. One of my pet peeves is when someone borrows something without asking like Annoying Guy had just done. When I have to constantly deal with someone like Annoying Guy I find myself questioning his or her logic and motives. What exactly is going through the minds of these kinds of people? Upon discovering that one of my pillows had been stolen from my bed while I was in the shower, I walked into the other room where a couple of the sales reps were staying. They were awake watching TV and just as I suspected, there was annoying guy lying on one of their beds (which already had two pillows) with my stolen pillow. I was annoyed at what Annoying Guy had done and then saw that the two sales reps and Annoying Guy were watching Family Guy so I joined in knowing that Family Guy could temporarily stop my current state of feeling towards Annoying Guy. Just when I was no longer annoyed, Annoying Guy starts laughing at parts of the show that are not funny and starts making stupid comments and trying to imitate the voice of Cleveland who, is one of the characters on the TV show. His impression just like his jokes and stupid comments was horrible and not funny at all. His laugh is also extremely loud and he has no sense of consideration for others around him or in the next room. I finally got annoyed with all this and went back to mine and Annoying Guys room took one of pillows of Annoying Guys bed and went to sleep. By this point with his repetition of stupid things from his drum beat door knocks to food stealing I knew that this would not be the last time he would steal my pillow while at Motel 6.
The next day was Sunday, before leaving for church I renewed the rooms for another 2 days and then hoped in my brothers jeep and we went to church. As I was walking out of the hotel room Annoying Guy was just waking up, he asked if I was going to church and I told him that I was and that I had told him the previous night that the meetings started at 2:30pm he woke up at 2:15pm and expected us to wait for him to shower and get dressed. There was no way we were going to do that. When Annoying Guy is getting ready for the day, he takes a shower that lasts just over forty-five minutes, then spends another hour putting wax in his hair and styling it. He also is currently attempting to sport a goatee but this is no ordinary goatee. This is the goatee that Robert Downey Jr. sported in “Iron Man”. We left him directions hoping he was smart enough to follow them.

My brother and I arrived just before the sacrament was blessed and passed. I had place my phone on silent knowing that Annoying Guy would text me for directions and call during that portion of Sacrament Meeting and I was right. He calls and when I don’t pick up, he sends a text message asking which way to turn coming out of the hotel. Once again I was not surprised by his lack of common sense. The Motel 6 that we stayed at had an entrance that was on a frontage road right next to Interstate 35 North so if he was pulling out there was only one direction to turn and that was right. If he had turned left, he would have driven into on coming traffic that was exiting the interstate. I text him the directions and about 20 minutes later he comes strolling into the chapel. The rest of the worship service and meetings were fine when we got out we met up with the sales reps and because there were no refrigerators in the hotel room, we went out and got a bit to eat. Some people that we had met at church had invited us over for game night and after trying to find the location and failing we decided to hit up the movie theater and watched Star Trek which was better than I thought it was going to be but, then again it was directed by J.J. Abrams who is a film genius.

After the film we returned to the hotel and I took a shower and got ready for bed. Once again Annoying Guy had stolen one of my pillows, instead of dealing with Annoying Guy I took one of his pillows and went to bed. The next day my brother and I found a house and went and signed a one-year lease with the sales reps but we were not able to move in until Tuesday. Finally Tuesday arrives and our three-week stay in hotels is over. However Annoying Guy does not wake up till ten minutes till checkout time which was at 12 noon. When he climbs out of bed, he heads to the shower and I tell him he now has only 10 minutes to shower, dress, pack up, and move out of the hotel room. Upon moving into the hotel room we told him to unpack only what he needed meaning, clothes and toiletries. He did not listen and once again it took him several hours to pack and move his stuff out while it took everyone else 10 minutes to do so. He finally gets his stuff moved out and I tell the front desk that we are moved out. I was just in time, they too were out of patience with Annoying Guy and were about to charge my credit card for another day and nights stay. When I get done at the front desk I head back to my brothers room and I notice that the door to the room that Annoying Guy and I had shared was still open. I asked Annoying Guy if all his stuff was moved out and he said yes. Then I asked why he had left the room door ajar. He ignored the question and walked off. I then started up the stairs to close the door and said, loud enough for him to hear me, “God, some people are just too damn stupid and retarded.” I then went and closed the hotel room door.

Tuesday night we met up with the landlord and we signed the lease agreement and then went to Wal-Mart to get supplies and groceries. We were all excited, finally a house! After Wal-Mart, we stopped at Blockbuster and picked up a couple of movies, went back to the house and called it a night. Wednesday morning, took Annoying Guys lack of common sense to a whole new level. He wakes up and the two sales reps have gone golfing, my brother and I are doing office work and trying to get the utilities for the house switched over which proved to be frustrating. Anyway, in the house there are 2 and half restrooms. Two of the restrooms have showers and one does not. Also, one of the showers does not have a shower curtain and the other does. Annoying Guy knows this and even after me telling him that the shower he is planning on using has no curtain he still showers in that shower. When he gets out he is dressed and the backside of his shorts are drenched. I almost bust out laughing because I knew that since there was no curtain to block the water from leaving the tub, the water had sprayed on his clothes. He was not aware of the condition of his shorts so I told him. His response was, “Crap, no way, how did that happen?” At that point I decided I no longer wanted anything to do with that situation so I went up to my room, closed the door, and took a nap. Trust me this is not the last of Annoying Guys shenanigans. This however, is the end of this blog post.