The Lost Old Lady

For the past week I have not left the house/office except when we go out to eat or when we go out to eat. I pretty much sit at a desk in our living room from noon till nine pm and do office work and take phone calls. This morning I woke up at 8:30 and decided to go for a walk. I grabbed Zeus and off we went. I stayed in our neighborhood and had walked about 5 blocks when I came across and old lady walking her dog around this park that is in the area. She asked me if I knew where a near by street was and I unfortunately did not know. I offered her to use my cell phone and she declined and said that she would keep looking for the street that her sister lives on. I continued my walk but felt that I should stay near the old lady since she was lost so I walked around the park. I also being new to the neighborhood did not really know any street names or locations so I was not of much help. We ran into each other again a few minutes later and she asked if she could borrow my cell phone. She had me dial the number and we ended up getting her sisters voice mail. During the course of our search she tried calling her sister several time but always got her sister's voice mail.We started to walk around and started to stop and ask people who were getting into their cars for directions but everyone that we ran into in driveways or at the park were all new to the neighborhood as well. As we started to head down to another street, she said, "I sure do thank you for helping me out you have earned another star on your crown in my book." I thanked her for the compliment and then she said, "Young man you are so kind and have a good heart, you must know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior!" I replied," I sure do!" She then said, "Good for you, what church do you go to?" I told her I was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Upon saying that, she quiet for a second and then said,"Oh I see." I then asked her what church she attended and she said, "Oh I am a member of the Baptist Church in Corpus Christi." I told her that I grew up in a small town where the majority of the town was Catholic or Baptist and that my Baptist friends are some of the finest people I know."

After about an hour of walking around, we spotted a Travis County Sheriff and I waved him down. After he pulled over and rolled down his window he asked, "What he could help us with." I explained the situation and he and the old lady started to talk. Five minutes later, through the use of the sheriff's computer, they located her sister's house and the sheriff helped the old lady into his car. As I started to walk away, she called out to me and said," Young man thank you so much for walking with me and helping me, and then she asked for my name." I told her my name and she again thanked me and then she and the sheriff drove off.

I continued my walk and went back to the park and sat on a bench in the shade. Earlier there was a single mother there with her young daughter and she and I started talking. She was from Italy and had moved from Italy, to New York, and then finally got tired of the fast paced New York life and moved to Austin. She asked if the old lady had found her sister's home and I told her that the old lady and I had run into a sheriff and that he located the address she was trying to get back to. She and I talked for a few more minutes and then we parted ways.

That is one thing I miss and that you rarely find in Utah. Everyone I know in Utah is of the same faith as I and I feel that you can not talk about or ask what religion some is in Utah with out them becoming offended. Also it was nice to have a conversation with a normal single woman who does not think that just because a guy says hello or starts a conversation with her that the guy is looking for mate or a wife. Although I love Utah and my friends there, being back here in Texas has reminded me that Texas is, and will always be home to me.

Stop Annoying Me!!! pt. 3 (The Pillow Incident)

The Pillow Incident

The epic continues. Except this time it does involve chicken wings or stupid comments only, stupidity. So a short while after the whole chicken wing incident happened, one of the sales reps and I hop into my brothers 1996 Isuzu pickup truck and begin the drive from Tyler to Austin, TX. The drive lasted about 4 hours because we stopped for about 20 minutes to eat at Jack In The Box. The main discussion at our table was the recent “Fish sticks” episode of South Park in which they make fun of Kanye West’s ego and Carlos Mencias habit of stealing jokes from other comedians. If you are a South Park fan and have not yet seen that episode make sure to visit www.southparkstudios.com you can watch every episode for free on that site.

As we were talking Annoying Guy states, “Yeah, Carlos Mencia is not really that funny.” The other two guys and I stopped him and said, “Yeah, he actually is pretty funny and on his first two stand up dvds he uses only his material and one joke that he stole from Bill Cosby.” Then I mentioned that I had gone to see Carlos Mencia in 2006 when he came to Salt Lake City for a tour stop. I also mentioned that in the live stand up comedy routine, Carlos used only his comedy jokes and no one else’s.” Shortly after we got back on the road. Once we arrived in Austin we looked for the cheapest hotel in the city, which according to our GPS and the night clerk at a Motel 6 on Rundberg Lane in Austin was the cheapest. That motel also ended up being deep in the Austin ghetto. When we arrived there were a lot of Mexican day laborers leaning over the second story railing, that sight brought the opening scene of the movie “Scarface” to mind when Tony Montana and his best friend are waiting for their Green Cards to arrive in “Freedom Town.” Once again we had hookers, pimps, and druggies as neighbors. We drove there and ended up having to pay one hundred dollars extra because they failed to tell us that there was a difference in price between weekdays and weekends. We pulled in on a Saturday night. I rented two rooms and as my luck would have it, I ended up once again sharing a room with Annoying Guy. We got connecting rooms and this is where the story begins.

The rooms I got were both double rooms so there were two queen sized beds in both rooms. Each bed had two pillows. So we get into our room and I set my stuff on my bed, unpack my towel a change of clothes, and shower stuff. At this point I decide to take a shower. If anything good came out of staying at that particular Motel 6, it was the amazing showers. I felt like I was standing under a waterfall as the water came down on me. It was awesome. After my shower, I got dressed, brushed my teeth and then stepped out of the restroom. I reached for a book I am reading and then preceded to climb into bed to read before turning in for the night. That is when I noticed it. When I got into the room I took my pistol and holster off my hip and placed the holstered weapon underneath the left pillow.

That pillow was now gone and my Glock was lying just as I had left it only this time, there was no pillow to conceal it. One of my pet peeves is when someone borrows something without asking like Annoying Guy had just done. When I have to constantly deal with someone like Annoying Guy I find myself questioning his or her logic and motives. What exactly is going through the minds of these kinds of people? Upon discovering that one of my pillows had been stolen from my bed while I was in the shower, I walked into the other room where a couple of the sales reps were staying. They were awake watching TV and just as I suspected, there was annoying guy lying on one of their beds (which already had two pillows) with my stolen pillow. I was annoyed at what Annoying Guy had done and then saw that the two sales reps and Annoying Guy were watching Family Guy so I joined in knowing that Family Guy could temporarily stop my current state of feeling towards Annoying Guy. Just when I was no longer annoyed, Annoying Guy starts laughing at parts of the show that are not funny and starts making stupid comments and trying to imitate the voice of Cleveland who, is one of the characters on the TV show. His impression just like his jokes and stupid comments was horrible and not funny at all. His laugh is also extremely loud and he has no sense of consideration for others around him or in the next room. I finally got annoyed with all this and went back to mine and Annoying Guys room took one of pillows of Annoying Guys bed and went to sleep. By this point with his repetition of stupid things from his drum beat door knocks to food stealing I knew that this would not be the last time he would steal my pillow while at Motel 6.
The next day was Sunday, before leaving for church I renewed the rooms for another 2 days and then hoped in my brothers jeep and we went to church. As I was walking out of the hotel room Annoying Guy was just waking up, he asked if I was going to church and I told him that I was and that I had told him the previous night that the meetings started at 2:30pm he woke up at 2:15pm and expected us to wait for him to shower and get dressed. There was no way we were going to do that. When Annoying Guy is getting ready for the day, he takes a shower that lasts just over forty-five minutes, then spends another hour putting wax in his hair and styling it. He also is currently attempting to sport a goatee but this is no ordinary goatee. This is the goatee that Robert Downey Jr. sported in “Iron Man”. We left him directions hoping he was smart enough to follow them.

My brother and I arrived just before the sacrament was blessed and passed. I had place my phone on silent knowing that Annoying Guy would text me for directions and call during that portion of Sacrament Meeting and I was right. He calls and when I don’t pick up, he sends a text message asking which way to turn coming out of the hotel. Once again I was not surprised by his lack of common sense. The Motel 6 that we stayed at had an entrance that was on a frontage road right next to Interstate 35 North so if he was pulling out there was only one direction to turn and that was right. If he had turned left, he would have driven into on coming traffic that was exiting the interstate. I text him the directions and about 20 minutes later he comes strolling into the chapel. The rest of the worship service and meetings were fine when we got out we met up with the sales reps and because there were no refrigerators in the hotel room, we went out and got a bit to eat. Some people that we had met at church had invited us over for game night and after trying to find the location and failing we decided to hit up the movie theater and watched Star Trek which was better than I thought it was going to be but, then again it was directed by J.J. Abrams who is a film genius.

After the film we returned to the hotel and I took a shower and got ready for bed. Once again Annoying Guy had stolen one of my pillows, instead of dealing with Annoying Guy I took one of his pillows and went to bed. The next day my brother and I found a house and went and signed a one-year lease with the sales reps but we were not able to move in until Tuesday. Finally Tuesday arrives and our three-week stay in hotels is over. However Annoying Guy does not wake up till ten minutes till checkout time which was at 12 noon. When he climbs out of bed, he heads to the shower and I tell him he now has only 10 minutes to shower, dress, pack up, and move out of the hotel room. Upon moving into the hotel room we told him to unpack only what he needed meaning, clothes and toiletries. He did not listen and once again it took him several hours to pack and move his stuff out while it took everyone else 10 minutes to do so. He finally gets his stuff moved out and I tell the front desk that we are moved out. I was just in time, they too were out of patience with Annoying Guy and were about to charge my credit card for another day and nights stay. When I get done at the front desk I head back to my brothers room and I notice that the door to the room that Annoying Guy and I had shared was still open. I asked Annoying Guy if all his stuff was moved out and he said yes. Then I asked why he had left the room door ajar. He ignored the question and walked off. I then started up the stairs to close the door and said, loud enough for him to hear me, “God, some people are just too damn stupid and retarded.” I then went and closed the hotel room door.

Tuesday night we met up with the landlord and we signed the lease agreement and then went to Wal-Mart to get supplies and groceries. We were all excited, finally a house! After Wal-Mart, we stopped at Blockbuster and picked up a couple of movies, went back to the house and called it a night. Wednesday morning, took Annoying Guys lack of common sense to a whole new level. He wakes up and the two sales reps have gone golfing, my brother and I are doing office work and trying to get the utilities for the house switched over which proved to be frustrating. Anyway, in the house there are 2 and half restrooms. Two of the restrooms have showers and one does not. Also, one of the showers does not have a shower curtain and the other does. Annoying Guy knows this and even after me telling him that the shower he is planning on using has no curtain he still showers in that shower. When he gets out he is dressed and the backside of his shorts are drenched. I almost bust out laughing because I knew that since there was no curtain to block the water from leaving the tub, the water had sprayed on his clothes. He was not aware of the condition of his shorts so I told him. His response was, “Crap, no way, how did that happen?” At that point I decided I no longer wanted anything to do with that situation so I went up to my room, closed the door, and took a nap. Trust me this is not the last of Annoying Guys shenanigans. This however, is the end of this blog post.

Stop Annoying Me!!! pt. 2(The Chicken Wing Incident)

Oh yes just when you thought it could not get any worse, it actually does. This incident took place on Friday May 15,2009 and there are about 3 people who can testify as witnesses to what happened to me and my precious and delicious Lemon Pepper Chicken Wings from Wing-Stop. For those of you who have never heard of Wing-Stop it is pretty much like Wingers or Pluckers except low key and their chicken wings are so much better than the above mentioned restaurants. Before I begin this epic tale I will start with a preview or prelude just to give some back ground on the up coming story that follows this one. Don't worry they are connected. If you feel inclined please go to the concession stand buy some popcorn and a soft drink, don't worry I'll give you all a chance to get refills before I start "The Chicken Wing Incident"

Thursday night was just a normal day for us in Tyler, Tx we were still in the ratty hotel and by this time all of the housekeeping staff and front desk employees had gotten to know us and loved Zeus, my brothers seven month old Doberman. I sat in the office doing paper work and taking phone calls from our sales reps who were out doing door to door sales. At about 3pm I get hungry but I did not feel like going to grab a bite to eat alone so, rather than doing that I decided to call up Annoying Guy to see if he would like to go to Dairy Queen with me for lunch. He was busy at the moment playing video games so I said,"When you get to a save point in the game come to the office/my brother's hotel room and we'll go to Dairy Queen." He says ok so I head back to the office and continue doing paperwork and dog sitting Zeus. Four o' clock rolls by followed by six, seven, and eight. Finally at nine pm my phone rings and I expect it to be Annoying Guy wanting to finally go to Dairy Queen. To my surprise, it is my brother asking me and Annoying Guy to join him and the rest of the sales guys at Cici's Pizza.

Upon arriving there, Annoying Guy states that he is not hungry and therefore will not be eating and has a seat at the table where the rest of us were. I order a buffet and order a customized pizza for me. While that is being made and cooking, we all converse and kinda watch the Lakers vs. Rockets game, conversing, and having a good time. One thing about Annoying Guy is that he says the weirdest things. Our first night in Tyler he arrived at the hotel around 3am and ended up sleeping in his car because we apparently did hot hear him knocking on the door. He claims he knocked for 20 minutes before heading back to his car. However those of us who were in the hotel room are all light sleepers and would have been woken up had he actually been pounding on the door like he claims he was. Anyway back to the story. He always says weird things. For example he got bit by a mosquito. When he showed us the bite mark he said, "I think I got bit by a brown recluse spider, look!" We all looked and of course it is just a mosquito bite which we told him it was but he was very adamant about it being a spider bite. We eventually had to show him what a brown recluse spider bite looks like before he would drop the subject. Anyway back to the pizza joint. The guys were talking about lifting weights and how much they could bench and Annoying Guy decides to join the conversation. "Man, I used to be able to squat 500 pounds easily and leg press almost 1000 pounds." We just ignored him like we usually do when he says dumb things. It should be noted that this guy is skinny as a tooth pick.

As the basketball game progressed and as we ate, my customized pizza that I was waiting for finally arrives. I eat my pizza and share with other guys who had also paid. Suddenly, Annoying Guy who stated that he was not hungry and did not pay to eat, grabs a piece of my pizza and starts eating. We all look at him thinking, "You did not pay therefore should not be eating." and of course, he remains clueless. Finally there is one piece of my customize pizza left and before I have a chance to eat it, Annoying Guy picks it up and eats it. At that point I was ready to snap, not only did he not pay to eat, but he assumed that I would let him have my last piece of pizza. I was upset however when we got back to the hotel, my brother and I took Zeus, our Doberman out to play and that calmed me down. As I laid in bed that night I was not was no longer upset at Annoying Guy for stealing my pizza as I thought it was only a one time deal and it would not happen again...boy was I wrong.

Now for the main event. Thursday morning we decided that we were not having as much success with the company in Tyler so we packed up all our bags which took everyone about ten minutes to do except for annoying guy who brought everything he owned with him except the kitchen sink. He unloaded everything from his car into the hotel room which was very annoying and made moving around in the room difficult and frustrating. Needless to say it took him several hours to pack up almost costing the company to have to pay for another night for the room because he was still packing way past checkout time.

After packing two of the guys and I decide to go get lunch. We invite others to come with us but they decline. We drove around trying to decide on a place to eat and finally decide on a restaurant called Wing-Stop. We went in and ordered some Cajun flavored and Lemon Pepper flavored chicken wings and were planning on eating at the restaurant. Just then my brother, who is also the boss, calls and wants to have a meeting so we put out wings into to go boxes and drive back to the hotel. We get there and the three of us start to eat. I notice Annoying Guy who had finally finished packing was also there and I noticed him eying our chicken wings and like the night before when we invited people to go eat, Annoying Guy declined stating that he was not hungry. So I notice him eying our chicken wings, mine in particular and I knew that my lunch was endanger so, just like a dog with a piece of meat that it does not want to share I go to a corner of the room where the other 2 guys are eating their wings and join them and I keep a hand close to the wings.

Finally not being able to resist anymore, Annoying Guy asks one of the other guys if he can try one of their wings. Now, to someone like Annoying Guy when they are allowed to try one of something they ask for, they assume that they can how partake of more of whatever it was they asked for. In this case it was chicken wings. I should also note that these were the best chicken wings I have ever had.

As we ate we had a quick meeting where we decided we would relocate to a bigger city. After the meeting we were were all conversing and Annoying Guy was taking wings from the two other guys. I also was doing a pretty good job of keeping annoying guy away from me and my chicken wings and was down to one last wing. That last wing I was excited to eat because it had been at the bottom of the stack of wings and was soaking in lemon pepper flavoring and juice. I got into a conversation with one of the other guys who had gone to get wings with us. It was when I was deep in conversation that Annoying Guy made his move. He swoops in and grabs my last precious chicken wing and eats it. The other guys notice this all went silent. I gave Annoying Guy the death look and he was still totally oblivious to exactly what he had just done. He broke the cardinal rule of eating food that other people paid for which is, you never ever ask for or take the last piece of what ever food other people paid for or made without it being offered to you. I seriously felt angry and frustrated at what he had just done. I wanted to point at Annoying Guy and yell, "He stole my chicken wing!" just like Joker did to Batman when Batman stole his balloons that were filled with poisonous gas except in this case, it was a chicken wing filled with lemon pepper flavor and juice. I was upset I was speechless and I did not know what to do or how to react. The most I could do is look at the idiot and say, "Really?! Seriously?!" to which Annoying Guy had no response and kept eating my last wing.
I finally could no longer be in the same room as Annoying Guy, I grabbed my bags, threw them into the back of the pickup truck that one of the other guys and I would be driving down to our new location and waited for the other guy get in so we could go. He finally got in and off we went. I remained upset at Annoying Guy for the rest of that day and the other guy I was driving with noticed how rude Annoying Guy had been by taking my last chicken wing.

A day after we arrived at our new location, my best friend showed up at our hotel room and we went out to eat. Unfortunately, Annoying Guy was around and he followed us to the place where we went to eat which was once again, Wing-Stop. We get in and I order and pay for both myself and my best friend. Annoying Guy assumed that I was also going to pay for his lunch and was surprised when I did not, in fact he seemed a little upset. I was upset that he had followed us and I was also still upset at his stunt from the day before. To make things worse I am also having to share a hotel room with him. That night I ignored everything he said as most of it was bs and I fell asleep thinking that Annoying Guy could not possibly get anymore annoying...once again I was wrong. "The Pillow Incident" will be posted on here soon so keep an eye out for it.

Stop Annoying Me!!!

This summer is proving to be a test of my patience. No, it's not my job, it is someone at my job. Since I have left Utah one thing I have come to appreciate is the sound of silence or a quiet atmosphere with music playing at a soft tone as I work in my office/hotel room. Never in my life have I known anyone who watches or is addicted to television more than this person. From waking moment to when he goes to bed and when he is not working or eating out somewhere, this kid is watching tv or playing video games. Now now, I know that not to long ago I was doing the same thing but that was because of my job when I was a video store clerk. I am still an avid lover of film but I have gained a greater appreciation for silence and nature as I have been working.

At first it was 4 of us crammed into this two person hotel room and we would alternate who got the beds every night. One guy preferred sleeping on the floor so that was one less night that the rest of us had to wait till we got to sleep on a bed again.

However without fail this guy would watch tv till the wee hours of the morning and it was not just his tv and video game addiction that makes him annoying. He asks and says the dumbest things. A prime example of these two accusations took place on Sunday and Tuesday night. Sunday night we were all chilling at my brothers hotel room playing Texas Hold 'em . One one of the guys in our room decided to call it quits after a few hands, returns to our room, and turns in for the night. A few hours later when we were done with the poker game we are all walking back to my hotel room, the room where myself and 3 other guys are staying in. Before I continue let me just say that this hotel that we are staying in is one, not the Plaza Hotel in fact its more like the Bates motel except the owners are not murdering psychopaths. There are however drug dealers, pimp, prostitutes, and drunken winos living at this hotel as well.

Back to the story, the time was about 2am when we got back to our room. My brother, James, Joe, Felipe, annoying guy, and I arrive at my room and we find out that my key does not work so I ask annoying roommate if he has his key and as I figured because this guy is very forgetful as well, he left it in the room. What he does next is the dumbest thing ever. He pounds on the door as hard as he can and shouts, "Open up, Police!" The rest of us are like, "Dude what the hell are you stupid or something?!" Once again I was not surprised at his response, "What? What did I do?"

Example number two is not as long. We went to CiCi's pizza and were watching the Lakers/Mavericks game we are all watching including annoying guy and he out of nowhere asks, "Oh is this the Lakers/Mavericks game?" I responded, "Really?" "Seriously?" "All of us including you have been watching this game and eating pizza for the last 45 minutes."

As of now the other two guys who were sharing the room with us have gone home. One had a family emergency and will be returning in a few weeks and the other could not stand how the real world is outside the Utah Bubble and quit. For now it is just annoying guy and me.

Tonight the guys including annoying guy and I were watching an episode of South Park online but after several network disconnections I gave up on watching and came back to my hotel room to do some work on some writing on a horror novel I have been working on. I decided to run down to the local 7-11 for some Gatorade. When I got back and was just starting to have ideas flow into my brain, there is the knock of annoying guy which, always is an annoying off beat drum beat on the door. "Damit! Already?" I grumble to myself as I open the door. He then walks in and plops himself in front of the TV, turns it on, and starts watching Jerry Springer. Then he turns to me while I was just starting this blog and says, "Hey do a search on the internet and see if the Jerry Springer Show is fake." I relpy, "No! I told you yesterday that the show was fake remember?" He gives this dumb laugh and says, "Oh yeah you did huh." then returns to the Springer show.

I cannot wait till we move into a house where I can once again lock unwanted visitors out of my office/room and have limited contact with annoying guy.